Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Four Takes on the Generation Gap

by Daddy X

Here are two flashers from Flash Daddy and two that didn’t make the cut for obvious reasons.

This one was chosen for the Flash Daddy media kit’s G-rated excerpt because everything else was laced with Amazon’s taboo words. :>)

                                    An Almost Legal Adult       

Bob awoke to a rustling in the kitchen. His daughter Beatrice was back from wherever she goes at night. It had been a while since they’d had much contact, given the way their respective schedules conflicted.

He descended the stairs. “Don’t tell me you went out dressed like that.”

Beatrice turned from the cocktail she was preparing. “Dad, I’ve turned eighteen and I can wear what I want. I’m paying rent with what I make on my job. That makes me legally your tenant.”

“But sweetheart! Why go like that? All that tight leather. Your bare ass sticks out of those chaps. And when did you start drinking?”

“I didn’t. But there’s lots you don’t know about me, Dad. This is for someone in my room.”

“You have a boy in your room?”

“Well, not exactly.”

“Oh no. Not another girl!”

“No, Dad. A man. I have a man in my room.”

“Oh my god! Get him out of here! While you remain under my roof, you will be subject to my rules, no matter what you pay in rent. Now get him out of my house!”

“But Dad... He’s tied to the bed.”

“What?”

“Plus, he’s already paid.”


This one was chosen for Flash Daddy just because some characters are idiots:

Later for Poontang

I answered my mobile without checking the caller. “Hello.”

“David? It’s your Uncle Nat.”

“Hi Uncle Nat.”

“How’s it going, son?”

“Fine sir.”

“You graduate soon, huh? That’s what your mama said.”

“Yeah. In a month or so.”

“Well, them girls gonna be chasing you, boy. Once you’re out of school they’ll be lined up.”

“I’m not much for the ladies, Uncle Nat.”

“Right. Education first. Later for poontang.”

“I guess.”

“Just be careful of broads that come on too strong, too willing.”

“What’s that?”

“Them’s got teeth.”

“Teeth?”

“In the cunt, boy. They’s out to get you. Bite your dick off.”

“I don’t think—”

“Didn’t nobody ever teach you nothing? All that schooling?”

“My classes didn’t—”

“You gotta learn about women, son. How old are you?”

“Twenty two, sir.”

“Twenty two and don’t know pussy. You know about oriental girls?”

“Asian?”

“Same difference. They’s slits go sideways.”

“Sideways?”

“Most cunts goes up and down? Chinks go sideways.”

“I don’t really think—“

“I had dozens of them, boy. You never had no Oriental chick, I’ll bet.”

“Right, Uncle Nat. But I have to go now. Thanks for the advice.”

“You bet. Goodbye.”

“Who’s that?” asked Kevin.

“My daft uncle. He’s never been laid outside a whorehouse, and he still thinks I’m straight.”


This one was left out of Flash Daddy because I’m obviously no poet:


                          All That’s Left is the Longing

Out by the benches
he’s dreaming of wenches
watching young girls stride by.
Through watery eyes
a willowy prize
glides within his perspective.

Lit from behind her
a light summer jumper
catches breeze in its flowery folds.
A glimpse of her profile
so luscious and tactile
the old man’s future can't hold.

Now in his purview
(He’d sure like to fuck you)
And diddle her all through the night.
If he asked her kindly
or subjective-mindly
she’d run away in fright.



This one was rejected for Flash Daddy because of the idea of the Great White Savior combined with the Asian female sexuality trope. I had none of that in mind when I read that at any one time, there may be tens of thousands of these relationships in Bangkok:



                                 Bangkok Power Parity 


“You must think of me as very old, Sumalee.”

“In Thailand we revere age, Herbert. Older men possess power.”

“But you have to work so hard to make me come. A boy your own age would be better for you.”

“I am young, sir, and because of you, I have a life ahead. I learn English from you. You pay for my education at university. You charge me no rent. No need sell body to strangers. 

“I simply provide for your welfare, Sumalee.  Now that I know you, I couldn’t bear to see you continue in that brothel. Come here. Take your clothes off and sit. I want to feel your youth beside me.”

“I am happy to make you feel sexy, Herbert. Now, touch my pussy. I’ll feel sexy too.”

“You should not pretend, my sweet. I understand that my body is used up.” 

“You still know how to pleasure a woman. Oh that feels good, Herbert.”

“I can hardly maintain an erection any more. If not for-”

“You get hard when you fondle my tits. When I dance for you and make my ass quiver.”

“Yes. But it all goes away so quickly.”

“Then I’ll show you more, you silly man. Watch, as you make me come. Use both hands, Herbert. Then your tongue.”



8 comments:

  1. I don't remember seeing the poem... but it's got some great lines.

    "Later for Poontang" is one of my favorites!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Lisabet- Jean tried to school me in the fine points in several poems, but I didn't quite get it right despite her heroic efforts.

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  2. Do you work with a word limit? When I've entered flashers for competitions, there is always a word limit. I find it much more difficult to write short stuff, than an entire novel. You seem to excel at it. Great examples!

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    1. I acquired my flasher chops at The Erotica Readers and Writers Assn. There, flashers must be under 200 w/c. Used to be 100 w/c. I've seen 'em as low as 50.

      Here's my shortest at 34 words: Not in Flash Daddy.



      Mr. Brazoli's Secretarial Challenge


      “I don’t think I can fit that in my mouth, sir.”

      “Wider. Open wider, dammit.”

      “I c-can’t. Mr. Brazaa-agg … I … I caggn. Mm… Mmm… Mmmm.”

      “Yeah. Hum baby. Hum like that.”


      Good to see you posting again, Fiona. Missed you. :>)

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  3. All fun, but I like Later for Poontang best, too, just as Lisabiet does. Snappy punch line, even when you can see it coming.

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  4. Thanks, Sacchi- That one sure was fun to write.

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  5. The first two made me laugh out loud! I haven't forgotten that I owe you a review of this book--just running behind on most things at the moment. I'm looking forward to it, though. :D

    I'm glad you left out the last flasher. The trope has soured me so much that it's hard for me to read closely enough to catch your signature humor.

    Whether it's word count or pruning stories from a collection, you really are good at knowing when to cut!

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  6. You were on my mind when considering the last flasher for this topic, but I figured we know each other well enough by now... Hope I didn't assume too much. I was simply depicting something that goes on in this world. It certainly wasn't meant to be humorous.

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